"Women are expected to be nice and sweet, to make other people feel comfortable. A woman who says ‘hey, I think there’s a problem here’ is being ‘negative.’ A woman who doesn’t smile while she’s being harassed is ‘humourless.’ A woman who prefers to stay focused on tasks is a ‘cold bitch.’ Significant gendering is involved here; women have an obligation to look and act a certain way and when they don’t, they need to be hassled until they do. "
(Source: daughterofzami, via thechocolatebrigade)
"When a heckler yells take it off, I say give me a knife and I’ll take it off for you. "
(via americanhighwayflower)
"The only reason “coming out” is still even a thing is because it’s presumed that people are straight until they tell us otherwise. “The Other must identify itself, or else it is decieving us” is a fucked up, dangerous idea. "
(via thechocolatebrigade)
"The belief that female sexual expression is uniquely dehumanizing is a double standard, no matter how much you dress it up in feminist language. Instead of condemning young women for the length of their skirts, why not use that energy for condemning anyone who would think that a woman is lesser-than because she wears a miniskirt? "
"
Men who want to flirt with women have to realize: Women live in a state of continual vigilance about sexual safety. It’s like having a mild case of hay fever that never goes away. It’s not debilitating. You’re not weak. You’re not afraid. You just suck it up and get on with your life. It’s nothing that’s going to stop you from making discoveries, or climbing mountains, or falling in love. Sometimes you can almost forget about it. It doesn’t mean it’s not there, subtly sucking your energy. You learn to avoid situations that make it worse and seek out conditions that make it better.
If a female stranger is wary around you, it is not because she suspects you are a rapist, or that all men are rapists. It’s because a general level of circumspection is what vigilance requires. Don’t take it personally.
If this frustrates you, try to remember that women are blamed for lapsed vigilance. If a woman does get raped, everyone rushes to see where she let her guard down. Was she drinking? Was she alone? Was she wearing a short skirt? Did she go to a strange man’s room for coffee at 4am?
A woman must be seen to be vigilant as well as be vigilant. If she is deemed insufficiently vigilant, she will be at least partly blamed for any sexual violence that befalls her. If she’s regarded as downright reckless, that “evidence” can be used to completely exonerate her rapist. If it comes down to a he said/she said dispute over whether sex was consensual, as so many rape cases do, the dispute becomes a referendum on whether the woman seems like the sort of reckless person who would have sex with a stranger.
If a woman does go back to a strange man’s hotel room at 4am, even if she only wants a coffee and conversation, she’s more or less given him the power to rape her. No jury is going to believe she went up there for anything but sex. So, don’t be surprised if a stranger reacts badly to that suggestion.
"Attention, Space Cadets: Do Not Proposition Women in the Elevator
I wish I didn’t need to reblog stuff like this. I wish people *got it*. But judging from the ridiculous response to these posts, stuff like this clearly still needs to be repeated.
(via lavender-labia)
This actually made me cry. Ugh.
(via m0nikered)
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
(via vag-enius)
(via thechocolatebrigade)
"
[TRIGGER WARNING: ABUSE]
Abuse isn’t just the acts, in and of themselves. It’s not just one thing, or multiple things, that you can point to and say, “that’s when that person did something abusive, and all other times, the person wasn’t abusive.” Because it’s systematic. It’s an entire environment. It’s the entire relationship, and all the ways that the “non-abusive” moments (which may still be abusive) impact the abusive ones. It’s the entire influence of the abuser on the abused. It’s not “abusive acts” it’s abusive people building an entire relationship breaking down and abusing their victim.
"Abuse is emotional « Speaking when the world sleeps
I could not seem to make this as coherent as I wanted it to be. It was extremely difficult to write.
(via disabledbyculture)
This is so true and endemic in emotional abuse. That’s why it’s so hard to pinpoint emotional abuse or point it out to others.
(via witchsistah)
(via thechocolatebrigade)
"The first time I became body-conscious was when I was nine and went to the water park with my cousin. We were having a blast going down the slide when this dude at the top goes, “Sorry, man, pregnant ladies are not allowed on the slide.” The first five people behind me were like, “Heeheehee!” I went and put my shirt on… for the rest of my life. "
Film-maker Kevin Smith on life being fat (via guardian)
If you don’t know why I tell people who make fat jokes to fuck off then here’s the reason why.
(via inothernews)
(via thechocolatebrigade)
"I don’t want to be married just to be married. I can’t think of anything lonelier than spending the rest of my life with someone I can’t talk to, or worse, someone I can’t be silent with. "
(via thechocolatebrigade)
"I think we can all recognize that the “it’s a joke excuse” is the most dismissive, self-righteous loophole, created by those who refuse to examine their power, and assume they have not only the right to say whatever they want to people, but the right to control how other people react to what they have said. "
"If the pursuit of happiness is making you miserable, it may be time to take a step back and learn to love, or at least appreciate, gray days and the feeling of frustration. Happiness shouldn’t be an end goal, but a byproduct of living an authentic and vulnerable life. "
